Vous Faites Mon Coeur Sauter un Battement.

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

(via abominab-le)

— 4 days ago with 176900 notes

thespacegoat:

straight girls tho, do you ever get confused by your sexuality because not only do men suck but also like 90% of women are fucking bombshells and only like 20% of men are like most chicks could pass for models and most men could pass for bridge trolls i mean wow

(via keepmerunningscared)

— 5 days ago with 34104 notes
jungwildeandfree:

sueslayer:

 
This is actually really funny if you think about it. I mean, there was totally some sort of ghost or demon about to kill her but then that sheet blew straight into its face and it was so embarrassed that it decided to disappear.

Tremble, mortal, for I am Zerendikos, and I will drag your howling soul to—
*flump*
AH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS IT’S ALL OVER MY FACE
FUCK 
WHAT IS THAT SMELL
IS THAT FUCKING FEBREEZE
FUCK DAMMIT SHIT FORGET THIS I’M OUT 

jungwildeandfree:

sueslayer:

 

This is actually really funny if you think about it. I mean, there was totally some sort of ghost or demon about to kill her but then that sheet blew straight into its face and it was so embarrassed that it decided to disappear.

Tremble, mortal, for I am Zerendikos, and I will drag your howling soul to—

*flump*

AH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS IT’S ALL OVER MY FACE

FUCK 

WHAT IS THAT SMELL

IS THAT FUCKING FEBREEZE

FUCK DAMMIT SHIT FORGET THIS I’M OUT 

(Source: theconjuringmovie, via sodamnrelatable)

— 6 days ago with 541695 notes
priestlyandtish:

you can physically see him falling in love with her

priestlyandtish:

you can physically see him falling in love with her

(Source: uncontainedd, via beautiful-littledestiny)

— 1 week ago with 205451 notes

cute-lil-kaiju:

If you’re dating a fat girl and you feel like you have to keep her a secret because her weight is embarrassing, go ahead and break up with her

She deserves way better than you

(via beautiful-littledestiny)

— 1 week ago with 12328 notes

tom-sits-like-a-whore:

disneybombshell:

ifeelcapretty:

The American collegiate system in one gif set

it hurts

the saddest part is that this isn’t even really a joke

(Source: sandandglass, via sodamnrelatable)

— 1 week ago with 609271 notes
ashiftiperson:

amtrax:

needs-more-pony:

raptorjesusbearcavalry:

blueshogun96:

getoveryourselflady:

Per the man law code and if not it should be


I applaud this.

Ok so it was nice of him to do that and all, but are we just gonna ignore how fucking INGENIOUS it was for him to put it under the toilet seat?

Like, I’m simultaneously mad at the girl for cheating, impressed with the decency of the guy letting the boyfriend know, and blown away with the creativity of the placing the note there.
Many mixed feelings.

That’s not just the bro code.  That’s just the right fucking thing to do.

ashiftiperson:

amtrax:

needs-more-pony:

raptorjesusbearcavalry:

blueshogun96:

getoveryourselflady:

Per the man law code and if not it should be

I applaud this.

Ok so it was nice of him to do that and all, but are we just gonna ignore how fucking INGENIOUS it was for him to put it under the toilet seat?

Like, I’m simultaneously mad at the girl for cheating, impressed with the decency of the guy letting the boyfriend know, and blown away with the creativity of the placing the note there.

Many mixed feelings.

That’s not just the bro code.  That’s just the right fucking thing to do.

(via sodamnrelatable)

— 1 week ago with 263397 notes

hopelessromanticelephant:

Why cant I have cute little areolas?

Tumblr creates boob insecurities. 

— 1 week ago with 5 notes

bombing:

turns out a creampie isn’t a pastry and the internet is a disgusting place

(via looradoora)

— 1 week ago with 96746 notes